“Scottish Fish Invented Sex, although the cheese grater vagina was probably what killed them off, Formula 1 cars won’t be taking part in this weekend’s American Grand Prix, and Marty McFly and his hoverboard arrive in less than a year…”
This week’s “Things What I Did See On The Internet While You Weren’t Looking” (must think of a snappier phrase for that) is a little delayed because Ali and I took the opportunity to get away for the weekend.
Faced, as we were, by a rather large army of police on our arrival at the train station, we questioned the decision to take a break in Birmingham but, luckily, our hotel was only a few moments walk from Birmingham New Street and it turned out that the police presence was because a thing of football had just taken place.
And home team Birmingham had lost eight-nil.
A quiet night ensconced in the hotel bar lay ahead, then, rather than a night in City Centre pubs!
I’d promised Ali a weekend (mostly) free of Internet stuff soI didn’t get to write this week’s review of things I’d seen on the Internet before we left.
(Not that MY promise to stay away from my usual playground of social media blogs stopped HER from burying her nose in her phone at any given opportunity…)
Still, here are the links I discovered this week…
Google Man Breaks Baumgartner’s Record
One of the defining moments of 2012, for me, was the moment when Felix Baumgartner rose to the edge of space and then jumped, from 127852 feet, back to earth with nothing but a parachute and a space suit to keep him alive.
It was one of the most successful social media activities of our time in the pub. Originally sharing a link on to The Tharp’s Facebook page to let people watch the jump on YouTube from the comfort of their own homes, we also put it on to the pub’s large screens and, before long, the pub was full of people who didn’t at all get bored with watching the balloon take almost two hours to get to the stratosphere.
And then, last week, Alan Eustace, went higher and broke Baumgartner’s record.
Having planned his entire jump in secrecy, Google’s Senior Vice President of Knowledge, went to 135889 feet (25.74 miles) and jumped, successfully, back to Earth.
Baumgartner still holds the record for the fastest speed in freefall, at 843.6 miles per hour.
Scottish Fish Invented Sex
According to international researchers, a type of fish with the unfortunate name Microbrachius dicki is the first known animal on the planet to reproduce by having intercourse rather than spawning.
Living around 385 million years ago in an area we now know as Scotland, Microbrachius dicki was apparently 8cm long (poor chap) and the type of sex they had was probably not very comfortable. Rather than a conventional missionary position, the man and lady fish would sidle up to each other side-by-side and then Mister would push his L-shaped penis in to Missus, who would clamp on to it with her vaginal plates.
That’s correct, I said plates.
According to researchers, putting your man-bits in to her lady-bits would have been akin to inserting your manhood in to a cheese grater.
Unsurprisingly, this technique didn’t last long and fish quickly evolved back to spawning.
I wrote something on the Interweb
— Mark J Daniels (@markinapub) October 25, 2014
Every now and then I do actually write something for the company that pays me – the above blog, this week, is on finding out just how well you’re doing at your social media activities…
Back To The Future
That’s correct. After nearly thirty years of waiting, Marty McFly is finally due to arrive next year. Tuesday marked the last October 21st before Back To The Future Day finally gets here:
More interestingly, though, is the fact that on that day, this company will release the first ever truly working hoverboard. For a measly $10000…
Marussia and Caterham go in to administration
It’s been a tough few weeks for the world of Formula 1. Not only does Jules Bianchi continue to be in a coma following his horrific accident at Japan, but rumours have been rife that Caterham are in financial difficulty.
Administrators had gone in, then they hadn’t as apparently it was all to do with a different part of the business. And then they went in again, this time locking the cars down to ensure they couldn’t travel to America.
Bernie Ecclestone has kindly given the team dispensation to not take part in the United States or Brazilian grand prix. As they are back-to-back races, even if Caterham could sort out a deal with their administrators they wouldn’t be able to get the cars out to Brazil in time.
Then, at the end of last week, Marussia – who have been on the end of some pretty horrific accusations that they had actively encouraged Bianchi to ignore waved yellow flags just before his accident – also announced they had gone in to administration.
They, too, will not be attending the US or Brazilian races.
Both teams have declared they will be back on the grid for the season finale in Abu Dhabi but, with rumours of yet more teams struggling under the financial weight of competing in motorsport’s top formula, it’s looking more and more likely that next year the top teams will be asked to run three cars rather than two in order to make up the numbers.
Plates or Boards
I’ve long harped on about my dislike for the current trend in pubs to serve me food on a bread board. I don’t like it – it might look pretty in pictures but I find it a horrid experience to eat from.
I’ll go in to in more detail in my next blog but, for now, vote in my Google+ poll: do you prefer your food on plates, or don’t you care?