I have two t-shirts that are pink and another tight black one that bares the slogan it won’t suck itself… Does owning these items of clothing single me out as not-straight?
I’m not normally a fan of politicians, given that they’ll pretty much say what they think they need to say in order to garner your vote at the next election, and then bugger off and do whatever they want anyway.
But I do sort of feel a bit sorry for William Hague this week. The 49 year old Foreign Secretary has, in the past week, been blighted by stories in the tabloid press about his sexuality which have forced him to, er, come out in defence of himself and his advisor, Christopher Myers, and to reveal other painful details about his personal life in order to attempt to set the record straight.
And I always get quite cross when the press decide that they need to try and sour the image of an individual in an effort to make a story. When it comes to somebody’s sexuality, I don’t really care. All I’m bothered about is whether they are capable of doing the job they are employed to do, or not.
In these politically correct and straitened times, we teach our children that the multiple religions that make up our Earth and the different races that occupy it are all equal, and in the battle of the genders we teach them that boys and girls are the same. Even if, at the age of almost-eleven, my son thinks that all girls are slimey. That is just nature’s way of dealing with the beginnings of puberty. In a year or so’s time he’ll want to find out whether they really are slimey or not and I’ve got the testosterone-fueled hormonal battle of teenagerness beckoning around the corner.
But we also teach them that homosexuals aren’t the scourge of the Earth. It is, apparently, the way we are supposed to bring our children up these days. They’re taught that everybody should be treated equal and that even if he were straight, Will Young’s music still wouldn’t actually be any good.
And then the newspapers go and belittle a man because he wears a tight white t-shirt and attempts to mock him for sharing a bedroom with a male aid.
Now, I’m a red-blooded heterosexual male and I appreciate the female form. Especially that of Jennifer Aniston. But I have two t-shirts that are, well, pink and another tight black one that bares the slogan it won’t suck itself…* Does owning these items of clothing single me out as not-straight?
In order to pay the bills on my first flat I shared it with another bloke. We had separate bedrooms but a communal living room and kitchen area and only one bathroom, but nobody ever suggested we might be doing anything inappropriate in all the time we shared the property.
And, on several business trips over the years, I’ve been asked by employers to share twin-bedded rooms with male colleagues. The thought has never occurred to any of us that we might be doing anything other than snoring our heads off in our respective beds following an evening in the bar.
Had, however, I chosen to share a twin-bedded room with a female colleague in order to save my employers’ money, the rumours would have flown around like sweat in a festival mosh pit.
Now, I appreciate that given this particular politician’s status in society he should have been aware that a hotel porter was likely to be able to pay off his mortgage by selling a sordid story to a red-top Sunday newspaper, and James Whale’s comments on William’s dress sense during the morning newspaper round-up on Sky News on Thursday intimated that his clothing might have made him look like a homosexual even if he isn’t actually one, but at the end of the day the Foreign Secretary hasn’t actually done anything different to what thousands of businessmen have been asked to do by their employers the world over in order to keep travel and business costs down.
But because of it he has been forced, admittedly by his own volition, to bring his wife’s personal problems in to the argument in an effort to defend his own personal standing. And that is just wrong.
Personally, I don’t care whether Mr Hague and Mr Myers like to play tunes on each others oboes during their personal time or not. That is a matter between themselves and their respective partners. And maybe David Cameron.
But as long as they’re not doing it when they should be doing their relevant jobs for the country, the newspapers should leave them alone and find a real story to write about.
* It was a long time ago and I don’t actually wear the black one with the slogan any more…!