Karaoke … meaning “empty orchestra”. It should also mean “tone deaf”…
When I first moved in to the pub, six years ago, I promised myself – and everyone around me – one thing: no karaoke.
Over the years people have suggested I do a karaoke event, and I’ve always shunned the idea. The video below is a shining example of why karaoke should be made illegal, and why people taking part should be shot:
To protect your ears – and my sanity – it’s only thirty seconds long, shot towards the end of a bar I did last weekend, and while the lady in question may well have been taking the mick a bit as she was singing a love song to the groom, it’s clear that such forms of entertainment really shouldn’t be allowed. Really.
But while I was doing that bar I bumped in to an old friend who I hadn’t seen for many a year and on Monday she rang me up and said: “Mark, I need to put a party together for this Thursday night and was wondering if you could host it.”
A large group of people coming to the pub on a bleak mid-January night? I couldn’t let an old mate down, and at this time of year saying no to business without good reason would be foolish. (Saying no at any time is pretty dumb, but still…)
And karaoke isn’t, I’m aware, a good enough reason to say no in these straitened times.
So tonight, for the first time ever, I’ve relented and agreed that a party of caterwaulers can come to the pub and sing to their heart’s content. Apparently my regulars can join in too. If they really want to.
If anybody’s got any ear plugs, please let me know.
And don’t tell Barmaid Amy, otherwise she might not turn up for work…