Getting Fit will leave me Hungry, Injured and Broke

Let’s get one thing straight right at the start – I am not what anybody would ever consider ‘obese’ nor am I lazy.

However, in the thirteen months since we sold our pub, it hasn’t gone unnoticed that a ‘less active’ lifestyle (read: more desk-based-staring-at-a-computer-screen rather than running-around-a-pub-being-bottle-washer-plumber-decorator-drayman-manager-and-barman) has lead to a little filling out around the edges.

While I might never have possessed a six-pack, I am definitely in the process of creating a barrel. Getting On My Bike*tweet this*

And, after a rather shameful visit to the scales recently, I’ve decided to improve my fitness; I’m not talking about obsessing about my weight on a daily basis or the fact that my naval is getting deeper, I’m not about to peel on the Spandex but this new lifestyle approach has left me somewhat concerned – while I might lose weight, everything else is clearly going to go horribly wrong.

The first thing is the food. I’m eating breakfast, lunch and dinner (something I’ve not normally done in the past; my consumption of food has been erratic of late and included an awful lot of Haribo) and the meals that are on the plate are wholesome and full of green things apparently known as vegetables. And yet I am constantly hungry.

I don’t just mean I’m craving a nibble, I mean proper, growling stomach hungry.


I’ve only been doing this since Monday; as I write it’s Wednesday evening, and I feel as if I haven’t eaten all week.

The second thing that’s bothering me is exercise. I’m not adverse to exercise and I enjoy riding my bike. Again, this isn’t something I’ve spent as much time doing recently; where once I used to ride up to 100 miles in a week, these last few months I’ve barely ridden ten. In total.

But last night I went for a run for the first time since, well, birth. I have watched people running before and wondered why they put themselves through it, but last night I decided to have a go and it hurt. There was proper pain. And I didn’t actually run that far.

I also look like a fool when I run, with my arms seemingly unable to keep themselves within a sensible, coordinated orbit of my waistline. I resembled a mash-up of Mr Greedy and Mr Tickle.

Finally, there’s my wallet. There is a gamut of products on the market that claim to help you get fit and healthy by measuring your heart rate and your physical activity and a plethora of apps that you can put on your smartphone to monitor your calorific intake and report back on your various exercises.

And, as I like shiny gadgets, I have to have them all; I’m just waiting for my Jawbone Up to be delivered and I’ll be all set. And broke.

So here we go. I’m in the first few days of a newer, healthier me. I’m not going to be a saint – there is a bottle of red wine waiting for me at the end of the week – but I am going to be a lot more conscious of my food and my sedentary lifestyle.

But so far, all it seems to be going to do is leave me hungry, aching and broke. *tweet this*

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